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Friday, March 16, 2018

Dave Grohl and Goodbyes

Today is the last day of my 12 year career at Garmin.  Soon every day will feel like a Saturday but today is bittersweet.  Yesterday I dropped my dad off at the airport.  This morning my brother left before dawn with my sweet Princess Mia Mole Slayer.  Today I say goodbye to the friends who have made going to work each day more than a job.  Many more goodbyes in the next couple weeks.

When the countdown to my amazing adventure to travel for a year was more than 30, I would tell anyone I talked to, "51 days till departure!"  Once it got below 30 I had to stop counting.  Too real.  Too overwhelming to think of all the things I need to squeeze in before April 2 and too overwhelming to think about how dramatically my life is about to change.

In my last post I was on the thriller portion of the roller coaster. More recently I've been riding the section where your stomach is in your throat and your heart is threatening to burst.  And oh yeah, the wind is making your eyes water.  It's totally the wind.  I'm not crying... right!?  Actually the roller coaster metaphor isn't broad enough to convey how it feels to completely reboot your life.  You don't have time for sadness or frustration on a roller coaster.

A friend posted this Dave Grohl meme on Facebook - if you change the "today" bit to "this exact moment" then it comes a little closer to what it feels like. I've been hanging out in the 9, 6, 2 sections more lately.  I'm sure I'll find my way back to #1 & 8, but for now, tying up all the loose ends between work and home feel too monumental to allow much room for happiness and excitement.

This is my first move that I've made as an adult (not counting moving across town).  I knew it was going to be hard, and if I can allow myself to take a step back from Grohl #9, I can admit that many of my fears were bigger in my mind than in reality.  However, I've also had a number of unexpected doozies crop up that my inner worry generator hadn't even considered.

I'm facing having to say the final goodbye to my elderly empress of snuggles, Aiko.  I don't know how old she is since I inherited her, but she's at least 17, likely more.  My awesome vet (who's also getting ready to embark on an adventure) said that she'd never seen a cat with grey hairs around her eyes before. I've known she was in the downhill part of life for a while, but I'm still not ready to say goodbye to this sweet girl.

The other big one is a health issue that has had me in  major freak out mode for the last 2 1/2 weeks.  My adorable doctor finally said to me, "Try not to freak out, and I know how hard that is, because I'm a major freaker outer, too.  I think God just wanted to play one more joke on you and see how bad you really want to go on this adventure."  I'm waiting for more test results, but the specialist  said that they are thinking that it's something that can be recovered from with a few lifestyle changes.  HALLELUJAH!  (p.s. googling synonyms of hallelujah is worthless.)

Today also marks the first day of being car-free (still need some work before I'm carefree!  sigh...)  Sure feels strange after only living in places where a car is so necessary to life that it's a standard dating profile section right there next to height and body type. My Uber should be arriving soon so time to sign off!